Red lights on blue bodies
by Der schwarze Prinz
Summary: He broke out of the normal life, got away from the people he disappointed and found himself caught between heaven and hell, knowing he would not be able to turn around and go back. He was too far gone. Jake Baker was lost. Hanging around with thieves and drug addicts. But it was okay. He was okay. Or so he thought. Warnings: Drug abuse.
1. Prologue

**Author´s Note: **I haven´t written fanifiction for more than a year, but somehow I got back to this fandom and a could not resist.  
This idea did not just come up to my mind. It was made up step by step while I was listening to the songs I will use in this story.  
I don´t know if I will ever finish it, but I really hope so.

**Warinings:**  
This story is rated T so far, but it will contain several drug abuse, maybe bad language and maybe some violence.  
I can´t really tell because I don´t know how deep I will go into all of this.  
I hate rating my fanfictions, because everyone is different, some might be more capable of dealing with such content at the age of thirteen then others are at the age of sixteen.  
Don´t like, don´t read.  
If you think it should be rated higher, tell me.

**Language:  
**I am no native speaker and I just started having English classes again during my job training. Before this, I did not have any lessons for more then two years.  
Every single mistake is mine and I will be sorry for it.  
If there is someone to beta this story, I would be pleased.

**Disclaimer:  
**I do not own cheaper by the dozen, nor the songs that will be used.  
They came out of the minds of brillinat individuals and I will not use them for anything but creating gratis entertainment.

**Prologue**

_**The Railroad**_

_I was caught in the middle of a railroad track  
I looked around and I knew there was no turning back  
My mind raced and I though what could I do  
and I knew there was no help, no help from you  
(AC/DC – Thunderstruck)_

The sun was rising.

It´s red rays were hitting the earth with enormous power, bringing up the sweat upon Jakes forehead.

He had lost the track of time and orientation long ago while it had still been dark, and now he was afraid he would not make it back. The only thing keeping him focused were the railroads in front of his feet, making it easier for him to keep going, to put one foot in front of the other, step by step.

Jake Baker was lost. But it did not matter. Hell, he was not panicking at all. He had been lost many times before and he had always somehow made it back. This was just another moment were he could prove it. To whoever he needed to. Maybe to the man besides the road, who was standing next to his expensive car, yelling at him.

"Hey man!"

Jake ignored him. Should he yell until the level-crossing rose up and he could drive to whatever unsatisfying job he had, making him one out of a billion of people panicking as soon as something unprepared happened. He liked it here, so he would stay.

"Come on, man, the train is coming!"

There was something in the man´s voice Jake could not really understand. Anger perhaps, or panic. And then there was another noise. The long, simple and loud horn of a train.  
He turned himself around and his eyes grew large as a train kept rolling in his direction.  
He would sure have done something, if only his mind wouldn´t have been so clouded.  
Then he felt pain in his back, before he landed, face on, and everything went black.  
-

**_I would love to hear what you´re thinking.  
I know this prologue might be confusing, but the next chapter will explain it.  
So please review._**


	2. The White Room

**Author´s Note**_**: **_So here´s the second chapter of my new story. I hope it brings some light into the dark. Not that it would lighten it up. It´s a dark story and it will become darker. You have been warned.

**Warnings: **This story will definitely contain drug abuse and a lot of things that come along with it. But this chapter is pretty harmless, I guess. Besides some bad words.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own "Cheaper by the dozen" or its characters. I´m just lending them for a while. The song used at the beginning isn´t mine neither. It was sung by the amazing Tom Waits.

**Language:** I am no native speaker. I´m trying my very best to avoid as much mistakes as possible, but I am not perfect. I would love to have a beta._**  
**_

**1****st**** Chapter  
**_**The White Room**_

_When there´s nothing left to keep you here  
when you´re falling behind in this big blue world  
(Tom Waits – Hold on)  
_

The first time he woke up everything he saw was white.  
Bright, blinding white, that made his head throb and his eyes burn, so bad, that he could not keep them open for more than two seconds.  
Then he felt horrible sick, the urge to throw up building up in him. But then it was all gone and he fell back in a restless slumber.

The next time he woke up, he could identify the bright white as a hospital room and the feeling of sickness in his stomach grew stronger.  
He needed to get out of here, as soon as possible.  
Jake somehow managed to sit up, even if is whole body seemed to hurt. Guessed they did not give him the good stuff then.

With big effort he brought his legs over the edge of the hospital bed, when suddenly his head started spinning.  
"Fuck", he murmured as he brought his hands up to his head, eyes closed.  
For a moment, he just sat there, trying to gain his strength, trying to remember what the hell happened that made him end up in a hospital room.  
Some pictures of a railroad came up to his mind and Jake shook his head. He must have been really stupid.

Suddenly the door went open and a doctor, some old guy, too old in Jakes opinion, entered the room, a red clipboard in his hand, thin glasses on his nose, walking straight up to Jake. The doctor then took a chair from the window and seated himself, placing the clipboard on the table and turning around to face Jake.

"You were found wandering on a railroad, not paying attention to the train that was approaching you. Luckily for you a nearby driver who was waiting at the level crossing noticed you just in time. He called out for you, trying to get your attention to the train, but as he said, you were not noticing him at first. As soon as you realized something was going on, so the driver stated, you did not make any attempt to get off the railroad. In a near heroic moment the driver ran and pushed you out of the way, risking his own life. That was when you lost consciousness. Your saviour, whose name is Wesley McCartney by the way, called an ambulance and you were brought here, to the Chicago Medical Center.  
While testing your blood we could find high amounts of diacetylmorphine. That and the not well hidden injection points on your arms give us the clue, that you were consuming heroin.  
Is there something you want to say?"

Jake was stunned.

He had tried, with all his power, to stay out of trouble that would cause an encounter with the police or hospital staff. And now, he was damned. Fuck.  
"It´s none of your business, Sir."

"Jacob – that´s your name, right? Jacob Baker, son of Tom and Kate Baker, living in Evanston, Illinois. Age twenty-one", the doctor had looked it up in his file and was now focusing Jake again.  
Jake gulped. "How do you know?"

"You´ve been reported missing exact ten month ago. Back then, you were under twenty-one and therefore documented as a missing minor. You just turned a legal adult five weeks ago.  
But I would say, in your case, legal is the wrong term. We will need a psychologist meeting you to see if you can be claimed as a legal adult."

Jake snored. This was unbelievable.  
This doctor was a big, white, sassy ass, and he hated him. And he hated himself. For being so damn stupid and got caught. What the hell was he doing on that railroad? He couldn´t remember. He sighed and absently scraped the crook of his left arm. He needed a plan. Now.

Just in time, someone knocked at the door and seconds later a nurse stuck her head into the room. "Doctor Hart? The boy´s parents are here."  
"I´m coming Julie, thanks."

Dr Hart stood up and took the clipboard into his right hand.  
"I´m going to talk to your parents, before I let them in. You should get some rest." With those words he left the room.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~

As soon as the doctor left the room, Jake panicked. His parents – he did not want to meet them, hell, he did not even want them to know where he was. He needed a plan.  
But his head was throbbing and the room still spinning and the damn itching on his left arm did not help at all. He tried to took a few deep breaths but within seconds, instead of deep breaths he was near hyperventilating and his damn right leg started to twitch.  
That was stupid. Meaningless since when he laid in this hospital, it could not have been long enough for the withdrawals yet. "Fuck."

He held his breath for a minute and finally managed to calm down. He closed his eyes and started to think.  
He needed to get out of the hospital, but the doc and his parents were waiting behind that door, which left the window. Jake did not know in which store he was, but damn it there had to be balcony or something like that.

Then he noticed that he was not wearing his own clothes, but a white hospital shirt.  
So the first step would be to find his clothes.

He was starting to slip down on the floor when the door opened for the third time and Jakes heart seemed to stop for a moment, when he saw who entered. It were his parents.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd

Tom Baker´s face was old.  
The years hadn´t passed by without leaving their marks. Additional there was something about his eyes that made Jake frown. They weren´t – happy anymore.  
Jake gulped and lowered his gaze. He could not even bring himself up to look at his mother.

"Jake." Her voice was soft, only a breath. And then she was approaching him within seconds, pulling him into hug. He stiffed uncomfortable, squirming himself free. For a moment he got a view on her face and he got sick again, not enduring the pain in her eyes. The pain he´d caused.

"Hey mom", he wanted to say, but the words stuck in his throat as a lump formed.  
Right then his father stepped next to him. "Hey Jake", he said, his tone of voice not leaving any possibility to interpret his feelings.  
"You´re coming home with us now, Jake", his mother said. "Let´s get you in some more comfortable clothes."

**Author´s Note: **  
So there were 15 views on the first chapter and sadly no review.  
Please review and tell me what you´re thinking and be honest. I can´t fill up the holes if I don´t know where they are.


	3. Home

_**Hello there!  
Here´s another chapter.  
**__**Once again:**__** I am no native speaker and so you´ll probably find a bunch of mistakes.  
**__**Disclaimer: **__**I do not own Cheaper by the dozen.  
**__**Warnings: **__**For this chapter? One bad word. Nothing else. For the whole story? Drug abuse.  
**_

**2****nd**** Chapter  
**_**Home**_

_Oh you can hear me cry  
see my dreams all die  
from where you standing, on your own  
it´s so quiet here, and I feel so cold  
this house no longer  
feels like home  
(Ben Clocks – Cold)_

Streets, trees and human beings past by like fast flowing sand through unclosed hands.

Jake could not watch it too long as he got sick by the unsteady pictures he caught. He tried to focus on something else than the outside, especially because every time he turned his head to the window the first thing he´d see would be his own sick, pale reflection. His own self, his curly hair hanging woozily into his dark, dulled eyes, but still not being able to hide the dark circles that formed under them or the too outstanding cheek bones.

He looked sick.

The first twenty minutes of the one hour drive from Chicago to Evanston Jake had gone into a nice slumber, but then they had gotten into traffic jam and Jake had gotten more and more nervous.

It had not taken long for him to realize that the steady tremor in his right leg, his running nose and the heat waves that were soon followed by cold chills running down his spine were the first signs of withdrawal. He gulped hoping he would be able to get out of this misère of rebounding parents – hell, get out of this car – before it got really bad and the pain would start.

He took a deep breath and turned his head around so he would be able to see his parent´s reflexion in the driving mirror. "Could we stop for a moment? I feel sick."  
His father took a worried gaze in the mirror to look at him, and then he focused on the road again.  
His mother instead turned around to him. "There´s a bucket under Nigel´s car seat."

A bucket under the car seat. Jake tried not to snort while he leant back and looked out of the window again. So they did not care. Why did they come to get him then at all?  
Absently he ran his arm over his running nose, fiddling with the ends of the sleeves. He needed no bucket. At least not so soon.  
Somehow he managed to fall asleep again.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~

He just woke up in time when the car stopped right in front of their house.

Immediately his heart started beating faster, too fast. Panic build up inside him and shortened his breaths.

He tried to unbuckle his seatbelt but his hands were too shaky and his vision too blurry. Then his father opened the door, wordlessly leant forward to free Jake and turned around walking straight up to the house, where Kate was already waiting in front of the door.

Taking a deep breath, Jake stumbled out of the car, almost losing hold of himself as his legs threatened to give in. He steadied himself with one hand at the car for a moment, before the shaking ebbed down he was able to walk over to the house.

He remembered, that back when everything was fine, back when he hadn´t been a total wreckage, coming home always made him feel safe.

Something about the big, white house had been able to bring a simple smile out of him, even on the most horrible days. He had calmed down immediately, as if in here, nothing could harm him anymore. As if this house could fix everything.

This feeling was gone completely now. Right now, this house felt like a stranger, too quiet, too cold, too clean. Too clean for him and his dirty clothes, his old shoes and his heat flashed cheeks.

Whatever was about to happen, this house would no longer be able to fix him, to clean up the mess he was, because all that was left of his former self were spooky oddments hanging loosely in the door frame.

"Jake!"  
A scream woke him from his daydream and made him try to shake the fog out of his mind. Before he could do anything else something blurry and small ran up to him and crashed into him, almost making him fall over before pulling him into a hug.

For a moment, Jake was totally flashed, before the cloudy something scaled of again and he could identify it as Jessica, his little sister.

"I´m glad you´re back", she said, stroking his arm like he was a little child.

He did not know what was scarier: the fact that she hadn´t change a little bit since his departure or that she seemed to be much happier about his return than their parents.

"How are you doing?" she started, grabbing his hand and pulling him with her. "Stupid question, don´t answer it. But don´t worry, it will be alright. I cleaned up your room for you, so you would feel comfortable. You´re hungry? I cooked pasta if you want to. Or I could make some scrambled eggs. My cooking abilities increased a lot lately, so don´t worry –"

She went on like this while they were entering the kitchen, where his parents sat at the counter, both a cup of coffee in their hands, silent.

"Jake?"

"Hm, I´m sorry Jess, what did you say?"

"You want coffee, too?"  
"No, thanks, just water, please."

She went on rumouring in the kitchen, taking out glasses and plates, until she set a full glass of water and a half empty water bottle in front of him.

With shaky hands he took the glass and sipped the water. That was when he noticed how thirsty he was. Like he hadn´t drunk something I ages. He gulped it down in one take, grabbing the bottle then to fill the glass up again, but his hands were too shaky.

The moment he set the bottle on the end of the glass, the jar tilt over, rolled over the edge of the counter and shattered on the floor. Jake flinched by the sound that caused his head hurt, immediately sitting down on the floor.

"I´m sorry", he mumbled, trying to clean up the mess by picking up the pieces of glass that were spread on the floor. But his hands were too shaky and he cut himself.  
"Fuck", he swore, rising his bloody fingers to his mouth and sucking on it.

Suddenly Jessica was kneeling in front of him, grabbing his wounded hand and pressing a wet towel on it. "It´s not that bad and will stop bleeding soon", she suggested. "I´ll clean up the fragments. There´s some pasta waiting for you on the counter."

It was the first time he really looked someone in the eyes since he had woken up in the hospital. Hers were the same green as he remembered them. Perhaps not everything had changed.

Suddenly feeling his stomach rumour, he rose up and sat down at the counter again. There was a huge plate with pasta placed in front of him, still steaming. Within seconds, he felt sick, standing up so fast, that his chair fell to the ground.

The next thing he knew was that he somehow made it to the bathroom, hanging over the toilet and retching out everything that was left in his stomach.

_**I already got two favorite, one follower and 128 views on this story, and this is great! Thank you.  
Maybe you could review this chapter? Every single review can help me improve.  
I could use a beta, too.**_

**_Right now, I´ve got a huge writers block and I haven´t written a single word for a month or so. The good thing is, I already wrote two other chapters, but the 5th chapter hangs in there with a lot of problems. Here again, a beta could help._**


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